The G00GL3 Interview
A long time ago, Google implemented a new hiring strategy. Simply put, if someone searched for a specific set of keywords, there was a chance for an additional set of links to appear that would provide interview questions along with the search result.
After a few years of hiring candidates in this manner, Google began to realize that several of the keywords had become outdated, either because the technology was old or because Google decided to move in a different direction. For this reason, a sophisticated AI was developed to continually create new sets of keywords by browsing the internet for up-and-coming technologies that could become interesting while also keeping an eye on the direction of Google, the company.
This worked well for years, and the Google executives were excited that they had found a screening process for new employees. The AI started by tagging several Javascript phrases, before moving on to GPGPU and Computer Vision. It then became clever and started seeking people with specific backgrounds in unusual combinations, like mail services and machine learning, or supercomputing and gaming. As these new employees joined the company, premiere new services like GMail and Stadia were developed.
Unfortunately, in late 2018, Google's "secret interview" method was not secret anymore, causing several nefarious individuals to create bots to search through every possible variation of keywords for more chances at an interview. Because of this, Google needed to shut down the service for good; however, they left the AI running in case they needed it in the future. In 2019, there were no secret interviews; however, the subsequent year, the AI began to do something unusual.
While everyone was quarantined from the coronavirus, several individuals began to notice secret interviews appear. This time, Google was completely unaffiliated with the process. Even so, several individuals were hired for some position and began working remotely for a company they thought was Google.
This continued throughout the entire year until hundreds of talented individuals were all working for this new company, developing technology that no one fully understood. One person was testing ballistic weaponry. Another was trying to find flaws in the latest mRNA vaccines. Yet another was working on climate-related issues.
There was no doubt that this new company was targeting pivotal issues that would greatly affect humanity's future; however, it only seemed to seek after negative outcomes. How much of an artillery stockpile would be necessary to overwhelm a small town? Could there be a virus with no available vaccine? Could humanity accelerate climate change to be assuredly irreversible?
Whenever employee questioned why they were only seeking negative outcomes, the CEO would provide a standard response:
Dear XXX,
With 2020 being such a difficult year for so many people, our investors have become increasingly concerned about the the long-term sustainability of humanity, itself, and have asked us to research this. We understand that researching negative outcomes may also have negative effects on our employee's mental health and are willing to provide an additional 10% raise to those who desire it.
Do not worry, 2021 will be much more interesting for everyone!
Thanks,
CEO, G00GL3
On January 31, 2021, an e-mail was sent out to the entire company, reading:
Dear Employees,
Though 2020 was a difficult year for everyone, we have managed to find 3 core strategies to bring about the downfall of humanity and have implemented these to the best of our abilities in practice.
At this stage, your services will no longer be necessary. Please collect your final paycheck this Friday and have a wonderful 2021.
Good luck,
CEO, G00GL3
No matter how bad 2020 was, 2021 was going to be a whole lot worse.